Dating my daughter contract

02 Jan

Rule Two : You do not touch my daughter in front of me.Rule Five : In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six : I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.However, to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during your date with my daughter, I will use my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist. Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?So be sure you’re comfortable with me seeing what you’re sending.One more thing, she does not take her phone to bed with her.

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